top of page

We had our first fight today

This morning, Nicollo and I fought over lemons.

Since we got married, we agreed that Nicollo would be doing the groceries since his job requires visits to supermarkets anyway. We started this arrangement just this week, and Nicollo bought the first batch of groceries the other day. I prepared a menu and a grocery list (we use Wunderlist. It's been super helpful!) and everything, and I was excited to start our #DomesticedLife. LOL.

Yesterday though, after he had already bought the loot, I realized that the dish I was cooking required some tomatoes (which I forgot to include in the initial list of groceries. Whoops.) so I asked him to buy them. Thankfully, he complied.

Then this morning again, I realized I had forgotten to ask for more lemons! I used them all up on Monday, and I needed more for the dish I was preparing for dinner. I knew Nicollo would be a bit annoyed, but I was ready to take my chances. The dish was his request after all, so I asked him coolly, "Nicollo, are you going to the supermarket today? I need more lemons."

Uh oh, wrong move, Laika.

He said that he had just gone to the grocery, and that he just let me have my way with my tomatoes yesterday, and that he didn't like that I was giving my lists in increments. Then he made it personal: "Laika, you should be more thorough kasi!" Oh no you didn't, homie.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I HATE being corrected. I guess my huge ego and my choleric tendencies are to blame. So, not backing down, I replied, "Well, you don't seem to know how to give people a break, 'no? It's my first time manning a kitchen, and I'm only human! At least my only fault here is not being thorough enough. Ikaw, YOU'RE MEAN!"

After that, Nicollo, being the gentleman he is, approached me and gave me a gentle peck on the cheek. He apologized. And all I said was, "Leave na nga."

Not good.

He left, and I completely ignored him.

I was left alone in our place, and that gave me time to cool down. I couldn't believe I let myself get so carried away by a bunch of lemons. After semi-exploding like that, I immediately recalled the advice that older folks gave about these petty fights that married couples always have. Left to their own devices, the petty fights pile up and pile up, and before you know it, lemons, toothpaste, electricity bills, spilled milk (literally and figuratively) become the dirty dishes of marriage, ceiling high with grime and dirt and oil, with neither husband nor wife wanting to volunteer to do them.

I love talking to older folks about their marriages, and those who unfortunately have not had the best marriages say that it's usually not just one big thing that makes a marriage fail, it's the many, many little things that we let slip. It's those small things that we don't forgive, or ask forgiveness for, that push husband and wife (magkabiyak ng puso!) apart.

So, understanding this, and not wanting to let this get between us, I swallowed my pride, and texted him right away. I admitted my fault, explained my side, and let it end. He apologized, too. I was done with the lemons, and so was he.

We're finally okay. I managed to buy my own lemons (DISCOUNTED PA!) and started preparing one of his favorite dishes for dinner tonight. He seems to love my cooking, and I love his reaction every time he eats what I make. It inspires me to become the #MasterHomeMaker I told him I wanted to be -- I just have to remember to list down those darned lemons the next time around.

'til then, onward and upward!

PS - right after I wrote this, Nicollo picked me up to see a film. He gave me a peace offering in the form of chicharon. Haha... Oh, the sweet taste of forgiveness! I pray we always remember it.

bottom of page